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Communists march on May Day in a public display of their high-quality armor and, though it’s a day later, the “School Safety Patrol Parade” is a young Americans’ version of the same stripe. Visualize the kids working together to keep up the status quo in an environment that supports student-teacher equality! It’s hard to imagine it as anything other than socialist, especially in my public elementary school, where we upheld the appropriate gender roles: The girls honed their maternal instincts by helping out the tykes in the lower grades while the boys went outside to buck traffic. Still, the safety program is about responsibility, and the kids deserve props for donning those Day-Glo orange hard hats and safety belts. This safety dance runs 10 a.m.-2 p.m. along Constitution Avenue between 7th & 18th Sts. NW. Free. (703) 222-4104. (Tina Plottel)