The Damage Done:
General Accounting Office reports that
year 2000 computer glitch will hurt
District more than any other entity.
“Yeah, the ‘2’ on my typewriter doesn’t
even work,” says D.C. employee. -4
Former Sen. Larry Pressler touts female African-American supporter of vouchers
as candidate for mayor; D.C. residents
tout white male supporter of vouchers
as candidate for exile. -2
D.C. Council votes “Capitalsaurus” as
official dinosaur of the District; control
board Chairman Andrew Brimmer rejects
vote, opting for “Tyranny-saurus.” -3
Report finds one-third of 911 calls aren’t answered in time and one-fourth aren’t answered at all; remaining calls are
referred to Roto-Rooter. -6
Seven commuters trapped in Woodley
Park Metro elevator for an hour; Metro
issues them free lifetime passes
to subway escalators. -1
Giant billboard of mayoral candidate Jeffrey
Gildenhorn’s face goes up on Connecticut Avenue; kids think giant picture of
Yoda signals another Star Wars re-release. -2
Subtotal: -18
Shots in the Arm:
Metropolitan Police Department (MPD)
stages roll calls outdoors. “This natural
light is killing us,” scream department’s
desk jockeys. +2
Northeast middle school renamed after
Ronald H. Brown; curriculum includes
Shaking Down Donors 101 and How to
Reward Friends and Influence Policy. +2
City honors D.C. public school students for fighting rat population. “We’re preparing them to compete in the local economy,” says teacher. +4
Ward 5 residents protest trash transfer
station. “Our trash belongs in our
neighborhood,” says activist. +2
Vibe magazine holds D.C. seminar on how to break into urban music industry; attendees crowd workshop titled “Best Routes to New York and L.A.” +2
MPD Chief Charles Ramsey to require recruits to have college degrees; University of the District of Columbia opens donut shop. +5
Washington jumps from 162nd place to first place on Money magazine’s livability rankings. “Repairing that pothole on Porter Street cinched it for D.C.,” says Money editor. +5
Cabbie returns rattlesnake-hide money clip and $300 to passenger, promptly drives heart attack-stricken customer to ER. +1
Subtotal: +23