The Damage Done:

General Accounting Office reports that

year 2000 computer glitch will hurt

District more than any other entity.

“Yeah, the ‘2’ on my typewriter doesn’t

even work,” says D.C. employee. -4

Former Sen. Larry Pressler touts female African-American supporter of vouchers

as candidate for mayor; D.C. residents

tout white male supporter of vouchers

as candidate for exile. -2

D.C. Council votes “Capitalsaurus” as

official dinosaur of the District; control

board Chairman Andrew Brimmer rejects

vote, opting for “Tyranny-saurus.” -3

Report finds one-third of 911 calls aren’t answered in time and one-fourth aren’t answered at all; remaining calls are

referred to Roto-Rooter. -6

Seven commuters trapped in Woodley

Park Metro elevator for an hour; Metro

issues them free lifetime passes—

to subway escalators. -1

Giant billboard of mayoral candidate Jeffrey

Gildenhorn’s face goes up on Connecticut Avenue; kids think giant picture of

Yoda signals another Star Wars re-release. -2

Subtotal: -18

Shots in the Arm:

Metropolitan Police Department (MPD)

stages roll calls outdoors. “This natural

light is killing us,” scream department’s

desk jockeys. +2

Northeast middle school renamed after

Ronald H. Brown; curriculum includes

Shaking Down Donors 101 and How to

Reward Friends and Influence Policy. +2

City honors D.C. public school students for fighting rat population. “We’re preparing them to compete in the local economy,” says teacher. +4

Ward 5 residents protest trash transfer

station. “Our trash belongs in our

neighborhood,” says activist. +2

Vibe magazine holds D.C. seminar on how to break into urban music industry; attendees crowd workshop titled “Best Routes to New York and L.A.” +2

MPD Chief Charles Ramsey to require recruits to have college degrees; University of the District of Columbia opens donut shop. +5

Washington jumps from 162nd place to first place on Money magazine’s livability rankings. “Repairing that pothole on Porter Street cinched it for D.C.,” says Money editor. +5

Cabbie returns rattlesnake-hide money clip and $300 to passenger, promptly drives heart attack-stricken customer to ER. +1

Subtotal: +23