The City Paper is the bestest darn newspaper in the District of Columbia. Of course, that’s only because the Post is fascist, the Times is for 700 Club-watching Civil War re-enactors, and everything else, corporate or indie, is lame “If Disney really did rule the Earth” drivel.

I have two simple requests: 1) For at least a month, fire any writer who uses the word “eclectic” in an article, and 2) from now on, fire any writer who begins a piece with “[So-and-So] is sitting…” That is all.