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Barry crony Rhozier T. “Roach” Brown sentenced to two years in prison for wire fraud, asks for his old cell back. -2

D.C. prison escapee flees to Buffalo; corrections chief Margaret Moore calls for spicier chicken wings in mess halls. -7

Mayor Marion Barry chides mayoral candidates for lack of charisma. Candidates carefully consider remark, weigh possible responses, decide to stick to issues. -5

District cabbie kidnapped to New York, collects luggage surcharge for his own body. -6

Auditors investigate calls from city’s child-welfare office to 1-900-HOT-BABE. “They could have gotten a better deal at 1-900-BIG-LUST,” complains bean counter. -6

Control board considers giving Metropolitan Police Department Chief Charles Ramsey new powers to fight prostitution. Chief vows to spike Virginia water supply with saltpeter. -3

Subtotal: -29

Shots in the Arm:

Schools open as scheduled on Sept. 1. Teachers union asks for bonus pay. “Under normal circumstances, we should be off for at least a couple more weeks,” says rep. +5

Control board Chairman Andrew Brimmer steps down, scolds wife for mismanaging household finances. +3

City fixes 1,200 hydrants; cabbies ask for optional target symbol. +4

Air traffic controllers at Reagan National Airport get new radar system. “This baby can spot a union organizer miles away,” says official. +5

Metro plans shuttle buses to ferry Skins fans to and from Jack Kent Cooke stadium; riders ask for sound system to listen to Norv Turner’s postgame excuses. +5

RFK Stadium to get new $1.5 million scoreboard; upgrade dubbed “Moonie-Vision.” +1

Georgetown waterfront park to replace Department of Public Works (DPW) depot. “It’s a great place to relax,” says DPW official. +4

Subtotal: +27