OK, somebody has to write to say that your “Saw You” ads contained a weird conspiracy last week: Five ads cited furtive meetings on Metro, but only on the Orange Line (three westbound, one eastbound, one undeclared)—otherwise not distinguished as a great refuge for those of a romantic and picaresque bent. What’s the common thread? Five different days, somewhat differing prose styles, but three phones expire 10/28 and the other two on 11/4. (Alas, all your phones that week would expire only on those dates—you’re making it tougher.) And all five quarries were women (but so are almost all the “saw you” listings).

Let’s go further: The 10/28 ads were seeking what seem to be three quite distinct women (different stops, different styles), as were the two from 11/4. The five gents described themselves quite distinctly—but, if they were hiding something, they naturally would invent separate personae. One of the women had been glimpsed several times; one offered flattering attention; one was with friends (and hence was unwilling to leap into the fella’s arms—despite her strawberry-blond tresses revealingly matching our advertiser’s beard!); one was named Sara, according to the “very observant” guy (who still blew it); and the last gave no hint of her interest—God only knows why the guy “wasted” the ad. I give up already.

OK, assuming they’re legit, what we’ve got here is definitely transcendental…or at least a saleable property. I see a major Hollywood movie—who do we get to play the strawberry blondes? If the friends were Friends, we could spin something for TV (which would sure be an improvement on Ross’s misbegotten marriage to the unattractive Brit, don’t you think?). On a less profound level, I see a terrific Metro advertising campaign: “You can score on the train (as long as it’s westbound)!”

You may think this is trashy pop sociology—but just wait until I get a shot at the “women seeking women!” For starters, there’s been a hell of a drop in the number of ads in the past months. (Only three unattached lesbians this week—what’s that say about family values in greater D.C.?)

Arlington, Va.

via the Internet