The Damage Done

Georgetowners protest skating rink in waterfront park; opponents calculate that Zamboni alone would take up three parking spaces. -3

“Shadow” Sen. Paul Strauss announces two-month leave of absence; “Shadow” shadow senator appointed to fill the gap. -1

Authorities add “Reagan” to all signs leading to National Airport; USAirways christens Gipper Class service with new china on all flights. -4

Health board shuts down cafeteria at D.C. Superior Court; kitchen manager pleads for continuance. -2

D.C. cop kills dog while investigating domestic assault call; “It was as if I was firing at the canine chart at the academy,” says officer. -1

Councilmember hammers Chief Management Officer Camille Cates Barnett for failing to curb city’s rat population; Barnett refers matter to deputy CMO for rodent affairs. -3

Subtotal: -14

Shots in the Arm

Metro to use smaller buses on routes to Chevy Chase, AU Park. “Domestic servants take up less space than other riders,” says Metro spokesperson. +2

D.C. cops crack down on residents with unregistered bicycles; scofflaws required to ride down K Street on banana seats. +4

Budget bill authorizes $2 million for city history museum, with hitch: “Curator shall superimpose horns on all pictures, images, and other representations of Marion S. Barry Jr.,” reads legislation. +3

Washed-up actor Louis Gossett Jr. co-hosts tribute to Barry; mayor pesters him for Debra Winger’s phone number. +1

Control board adds six people to mayoral security force. “We were having real problems when he’d switch sides in tennis matches,” says detailee. +3

Booster group plans upgrades to make parks more inviting for downtown lunchers; park bench regulars hired as wine stewards. +6

Magic Johnson plans 16-screen theater at USAirways Arena; opening night feature: The Best of the Magic Hour. +5

Subtotal: +24

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