I hate to have to cry humbug, but I simply cannot take another rendition of A Christmas Carol. This year, I’m filling my holiday theater needs with more cynical fare, and local playwright Ian Allen’s one-act short play Wrap should do the trick. Shauna and Heidi are suburban mall rats working seasonal jobs at a gift-wrapping station who squander their time smacking gum and heckling shoppers. Now that’s more like it! The staged reading by Cherry Red Productions will be presented alongside Allen’s equally warped Thanksgiving riff, Baked Baby, wherein Mormon yuppies are pressured into having a child they can’t afford. Cannibalistic snafus and general heathenry ensue. And to think that at my house we settled for Tofurky. At 7:30 p.m. at the District of Columbia Arts Center, 2438 18th St. NW. $5. (202) 462-7833. (Colin Bane)