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Due to the immediate onslaught of paranoid hallucinations that rival Rip Taylor’s Vegas act, I am physically unable to fire up the hookah and enjoy the pleasures of THC. So in order to kick off the New Year in relative safety, I will not be in attendance when High Times house band Everything, which celebrates sinsemilla on its rootsy hit song “Hooch,” helps shutter the Bayou on the last day of 1998. The character-rich club certainly deserves a proper send-off; unfortunately, most of tonight’s attendees will be so unbelievably stoned the show might as well be at Chuck E. Cheese’s. At 8 p.m. at the Bayou, 3135 K St. NW. $30. (202) 333-2897. (Sean Daly)