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I’m convinced I wouldn’t have turned into a poetry-reading, museum-visiting, vegetarian wuss if my parents had given me a different bicycle as a child. The vintage English three-speed I ended up with up with was, I’ll grudgingly admit now, a lovely machine, but it wasn’t what I really wanted: an ugly little dirt bike I could pop wheelies on, cake with mud, and otherwise abuse in foolhardy ways. Anyone who still wants to ride headlong through the dirt and risk skinned knees, knocked-out teeth, and broken bones might want to attend today’s Outlaw MTB Race, a no-holds-barred competition over perilous motocross trails. Entry categories include “Ripper,” “Chick,” “Clydesdale,” and “Courier,” but, unfortunately for me, not “Wuss.” Registration from 8 to 9:45 a.m., race at 10 a.m. at the Pits, Frost Place off of Sweitzer Lane, Laurel. $10 to race, free to spectators. (301) 257-2030. (Racers must pre-register by phone.) (Leonard Roberge)