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As an adoptee from a Florence Crittenton Home in Denver, I was touched deeply by an article that was passed on to me today (“Wayward Past,” 3/19). I belong to an adoption support e-mail group called the Colorado@onelist.com, and it was passed through those channels.
In January I started my search for my birth mother. I received the nonidentifying information from Human Services in Denver, which now keeps the records from the Crittenton Home of Denver. However, one area was inadvertently missed and did not get covered up. Therefore, I had the last name of my birth mother. I then received the nonidentifying information from Lutheran Social Services, which I was adopted through, and it gave me the first names of both my birth mother and birth father. Thanks to the Internet, a little luck, and a very talkative “cousin,” I found my birth mother. However, on Jan. 9th I spoke to her for the first time in 29 years, and she denied ever having had a baby in the Florence Crittenton Home. Because I have too much information to believe her, my assumption has to be that she was shamed so badly at 19 that even now she cannot still admit it. She has three other childrenand a husband who probably doesn’t even know I exist.
I wrote her a letter stating that I would keep things confidential and would love to meet her privately. I live near D.C. now, and I told her I would fly to Colorado to meet her if she chose. She didn’t call or write back.
So, in addition to your article, I’d like you to know that the young girls who had their children in these homes are not the only ones to have guilt hanging over their heads. As an adoptee, I too have the guilt that because of me, my birth mother has had many years of guilt put on her. I grew up in a wonderful life, and I know she did the right thing putting me up for adoption. But she should never feel as if she committed some horrible crime to society. I love her more than anyone can understandand I’ve never met her.
via the Internet