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There are two things about us Armenians that I tell anyone who looks in my direction. The first is that Armenians believe they invented just about everything. Shish kebab? We did it first. Turkish coffee? It’s really Armenian. Persian rugs? Armenian. Baklava? That’s right—Armenian. The second is that the Armenian language (the only surviving tongue in the Thraco-Phrygian family) sounds like baby talk—which makes elderly Armenians really adorable. Held to raise funds for humanitarian projects in Alexandria’s sister city of Gyumri, Armenia, the annual Armenian Festival includes performances by Armenian folk dancers, musicians, and singers; craft exhibits; and tasty Armenian foods, including, with any luck, nazooks, my favorite pastries. From noon to 6 p.m. at Market Square, 301 King St., Alexandria. Free. (703) 883-4686. (Ara Hacopian)