A few comments in response to Steve Brown’s rant about Baltimore (The Mail, 9/24): First of all, Steve, your letter might have more validity if it emanated from anywhere else than the cultural Mecca of Upper Marlboro—the sphincter of the known universe. Did you ever get that stop light down there? You know, by the Target? If Baltimore is less than a second-rate city, then Upper Marlboro is a pimple on Washington’s ass.

Your writing reminds me of the country bumpkin or entitled yuppie scum who travels to Fell’s Point, can’t find a girl to give him the time of day, gets drunk, runs his mouth, gets his butt kicked, and then holds a grudge against Baltimore for the rest of his pathetic life. It’s a tough town, Stevie baby. Not for the likes of you.

Truth is, Steve, people in Baltimore don’t spend a lot of time thinking about MarionBarrytown and have probably never heard of Upper Cowboro. Not much to think about, really. They’re just sort of there. Kind of like a weird neighbor who doesn’t mow his lawn. You don’t look when you drive past his house.

As far as the political BS that affects “Baltimore and the rest of the planet,” we had an expression for that when we were kids: “Flush twice—it’s a long way to Washington!”

Baltimore