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Celibate Good Times?
I read the article “Exit Strategy” (11/26) on the ex-gay movement with great interest, because I’m gay and also a Christian. I was never more miserable than the nine-and-a-half years I spent being celibate, trying to be straight and date women, going to a straight church in an attempt to “fit in.” I never felt so liberated as when I came out and stopped trying to live a lie.
If Anthony Falzarano and his followers are happy being “ex-gay,” that’s great. However, not everybody who is gay is miserable being gay, as he may have been. Not all of us are sex addicts or as promiscuous as he was, either. The gay ’90s is a very different world from the Studio 54 days of his youth, largely due to AIDS.
Falzarano’s “Just say no” approach will do nothing to stem the spread of AIDS. The reason his friends died in the ’80s was from lack of good information on how the disease was transmitted and how to protect oneself from becoming infected. The only way to stop AIDS is to prevent it, and that’s by getting the information with condoms to the bathhouses and establishments where men meet for sex. The notion that men are going to remain abstinent until they enter a holy union with a woman is at best naive and at worst socially irresponsible.
Finally, I did have to laugh at the part about the bathhouses. I’m not into them, either; however, Falzarano should realize that there is a much larger bathhouse that has no cover charge or sticky floors, is easy to get to, and remains busy 24 hours a day. It’s called the Internet.