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“Everything is sold with sex,” says comedian Robert Schimmel from his L.A. home. “That’s why I choose to talk about relationships and sex and how I deal with it with my 8-year-old, with my college daughter, with my wife. Because, look, there are people who love political satire; there are some people who won’t watch it. There are some people who enjoy stuff like Gallagher; there are some people who don’t think it’s funny. But when you talk about sex, everybody’s ears perk up. Because even today, when we’re on the brink of the year 2000, that’s still forbidden fruit. It is. And it works. It really does.” It certainly works for Schimmel, whose extremely, unapologetically explicit act is what they used to call “blue.” Even his daughter’s sex life is up for discussion, though in real life, Dad, rather old-fashionedly, works hard to keep his youngest girl from finding out that her sister has a live-in boyfriend. If that sounds like a sitcom, it soon may be: Schimmel is red-hot after his HBO special and has both a forthcoming CD, Unprotected, and a TV deal. Sex, indeed, sells. “I can’t remember who told me,” Schimmel says, “but somebody told me a long time ago, ‘Sacred cows make the best burgers.’” Chef Schimmel cooks up a mighty feast at 8:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 9, and Sunday, Dec. 12, and 8 and 10:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 10, and Saturday, Dec. 11, at the Improv, 1140 Connecticut Ave. NW. $12-$15. (202) 296-7008. (Dave Nuttycombe)