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My dog wouldn’t hurt a fly. He runs into the bathtub whenever there’s a thunderstorm and used to skulk away from me before I even knew he had been nosing in the trash. But when my now ex-girlfriend brought home that lovable black lab puppy, she told me she picked him because he had run up to her and pulled her skirt. I knew immediately that there was some new alpha blood in town—and its name was Mighty Mighty. More “subtle” indicators followed: the trail of red Chuck Taylor canvas leading from our roommate’s bedroom to the front of Mighty’s crate, the shredded stuffing near the arm of our hand-me-down couch, and a dozen games of catch-me-if-you-can though our neighbor’s seedling beds. When we moved from Silver Spring to Adams Morgan, the delinquent of suburbia turned the District into a terrordome. Mighty became a high-hackled hellhound who barked at any child or animal under 3 feet in height. I realize now that we could have avoided the aghast stares of parents and poodle owners alike by “socializing” our dog earlier, as suggested by Mordecai Siegal and Matthew “Uncle Matty” Margolis in their new book, Grrr!: The Complete Guide to Understanding and Preventing Aggressive Behavior in Dogs. My ex tells me that Mighty is currently enjoying a comfortable retirement at her parents’ country home, but if you can’t find such swank accommodations for your problem pooch, you might want to consult Uncle Matty, who’ll be signing copies of Grrr! at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, March 7, at Barnes & Noble, 4801 Bethesda Ave., Bethesda. Free. (301) 986-1761. (Brian Nelson)