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THURSDAY

“Fuck is a truly bad word. You have to tell yourself this, disregarding the fact that millions of people use it every day. Don’t succumb to the growing evidence that it is overcoming the bad reputation it has had for years.” Or so says party-poopin’ puritan James V. O’Connor, author of Cuss Control: The Complete Book on How to Curb Your Cursing, which aims to put our dear friend “fuck” on death row. In order to lead pottymouths to salvation—he believes fevered f-word fans to be miserable and frustrated—O’Connor provides G-rated alternatives to famous “fuck”-friendly phrases. Don’t say, “No fucking way”; say, “I’m not certain that’s feasible!” Sure, “The boss is a fucking jerk,” but feel good about yourself and exclaim, “The boss can be very insensitive!” Blah, blah, blah. Tell you what: Make O’Connor’s day and just silently give him the finger when he discusses his book at 7:30 p.m. at Borders, 6701 Frontier Drive, Springfield. Free. (703) 924-4894. (SD)

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