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Here are some alternate titles for Paul B. Abrams’ The Sport of Cooking: A Gourmet Guide for Rookies: The How to Impress Women Without Compromising Your Male Integrity Cookbook; It’s My Turn: A Husband’s Guide to Making an Edible Dinner; A Boyfriend’s Guide to the Heart-Through-the-Stomach Principle. Julia Child he ain’t, though Abrams’ book, obviously intended for the sports-obsessed male, is quite informative. He gives the rookie cook some excellent pointers and suggests a few menus designed to make any man feel like the Natural—even when it comes to stuff like carpaccio and broiled rockfish with fennel and walnut oil. Guys, learn how to get past first base when Abrams discusses and signs his book at 7 p.m. at Olsson’s Books & Records, 2111 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. Free. (703) 525-4227. (Tina Plottel)