People think I don’t read. It might have something to do with the fact that I know the astrological sign for each member of ‘N Sync and frequently use the sentence “That’s just like in that episode of Friends” in conversation. But none of that should make anyone think I don’t read. In fact, I’m very proud that this Bloomsday I’ll be in the process of digging my way out of Ulysses. Reading Joyce’s masterpiece is a lot like experiencing a runner’s high—when it kicks in, the trees look greener, the air feels fresher, and passages like “One fine day it gets bunged up and there you are” make total sense. This weekend, Alpha Tek Productions Artistic Director Herb Guggenheim gathers local Joyce enthusiasts together for “Ulysses 2000,” a three-day dramatic reading of the novel. They’ll start at the big “S”—and keep going, 12 hours at a time, until they get to “Yes”—today at 10 a.m. at Kelly’s Irish Times, 14 F St. NW. Free. (202) 543-5433. (Tina Plottel)