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Oy gewalt, the talking to I’d get if I even came close to dirt as a kid. Maybe it was well-deserved. As an extreme youngster in a fit of separation anxiety, I once crawled under a bathroom stall because I couldn’t find my mom. She was horrified. She won’t even walk barefoot in hotel rooms, let alone allow her first-born to crawl through E. coli without a trip to the doctor. It turned out that I had picked up hand, foot, and mouth disease. Before you go telling me that I should have listened to my mother, let me just say that (1) I was 2 and (2) germs are everywhere, just itching to embed themselves in your nana’s brisket. Dr. Stephen Greenberg will no doubt tell you how—and talk a bit about maternal tyranny—when he presents “From Visitation to Vaccination: The Impact of Germ Theory on Society” today at 10:30 a.m. at Magen David Sephardic Congregation, 11418 Old Georgetown Road, Rockville (meet at the Jewish Community Center of Greater Washington, 6125 Montrose Road, Rockville). $18 (includes transportation to Magen David). For reservations call (301) 230-3747. (Mike Kanin)