This summer bites. Literally. Entomologists tell the Washington Post that we’re seeing the most vicious mosquito infestation in 30 years—an assault made even worse by the Asian tiger mosquito, a ferocious and heretofore unknown strain. A simple product of wet weather and small-insect migration? We doubt it. Someone has a plan to keep Washingtonians scratching and swatting their summer away. And the Washington City Paper’s crack team of conspiracy-watchers have a set of suspects just itching to be revealed.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals
Save the cows. More mosquitoes means fewer barbecues. Fewer barbecues means more people opt for pasta with veggies instead of big, thick steaks.
Activists maintain trove of larvae rescued from would-be bug-squashers. Let the bugs fly free, and you’ll make barbecue season absolutely impossible.
Descendants of C&O Canal laborers
Revenge. Many of their ancestors gave their lives to build that canal. But the waterway never earned a cent—meaning they had sacrificed for nothing more than a lousy tourist attraction.
What better use for D.C.’s biggest stretch of standing water?
Make Washington look cosmopolitan. All summer, New York has been famously plagued by the mosquito-borne West Nile virus. If a stylish city like Gotham has mosquito troubles, reason the District’s cheerleaders, we should, too.
Officially, the test runs of Amtrak’s Acela trains have been sans passengers. Which leaves more room for hordes of Empire state mosquitoes.