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Admit it: You’ve long believed that “house red” means something specific, and, if you could have it your way, you’d order a Bud. Washington Post wine critic Michael Franz would like a crack at you. Washington Wine Academy launches its fall programming with the Franz-hosted Wine Boot Camp, a “For Dummies”-type seminar designed to neither bore the connoisseur nor insult the neophyte. Among the topics tackled will be the basics of different wines’ characteristics, tasting, and food-pairing. If none of the above turns out to be your thing, enjoy the fact that high school Social Studies was never quite like this—the wine flows freely, and spitting is strictly optional. At 7 p.m. at the Wyndham Hotel, 1400 M St. NW. $35. (703) 922-422. (Brett Anderson)