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Dead Teenagers are not a band. They’re a force—an unstoppable juggernaut, hellbent on obliterating everything in their path, with fast-paced, raucous sets of punk rock propelled by a precise rhythm section and acerbic vocals. Given their half-sneering, half-smiling faces, plus a so-called rivalry with arch-rock-enemies Motorcycle Wars, Dead Teenagers could wind up labeled as just another joke band. But don’t be fooled, because they’ll destroy you and everyone you care about. It’s only a matter of time before the uncontrollable might of their own existence causes the city to implode. So see the self-proclaimed “#1 Band in D.C.” while you still can. Dead Teenagers “play” with 30 Cent Thieves at 9:30 p.m. at the Black Cat, 1831 14th St. NW. $5. (202) 667-7960. (Matthew Borlik)