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Poor, shallow Esmeralda. Loving the wrong guy almost got her hanged. Luckily, though, the right guy had the cojones (and the rope) to swoop in at the last minute and save her from certain doom. Yay, right? Happy ending, right? No! ‘Cause even after this special, special guy proved his love again and again (I mean, really—how many men will save your ungrateful ass, give you cute pets, and pour what looks like scalding pea soup off the roof of a cathedral to protect you from an angry mob?), she still rode off in the end with the hammy poet! Too bad it all happened in the 15th century; the hunchback might have fared differently if he had known What Women Want. Decide for yourself what Esmeralda was thinking when the Washington Psychotronic Film Society screens the 1939 version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame at 8 p.m. at the Lucky Bar, 1221 Connecticut Ave. NW. $3 (suggested donation). (202) 736-1732. (Jennifer Agresta)