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The Corleones and Kowalskis of this world probably avoid restaurants such as T.G.I. Friday’s and the Olive Garden. Just imagine if you had to suffer through some comedian mock-screaming, “Stella!! Stel-llaa!!!” every time a 17-year-old hostess innocently blurted into the microphone, “Kowalski, party of four.” Yeah, that’s funny, buddy—about as funny as a fishing trip with Fredo Corleone. But I don’t expect everlasting surname infamy from Dennis Dugan’s newest release, Saving Silverman. Sure, my brother, Jonathan, used to receive his fair share of second glances from bank tellers and secretaries who knew his namesake from Brighton Beach Memoirs and Broadway Bound, but those have steadily declined in frequency ever since his alter ego appeared in Weekend at Bernie’s II and Teresa’s Tattoo, for some strange reason. And even though Darren Silverman (Jason Biggs from American Pie) shares my brother’s dark hair, charming good-guyness, and musical appreciation for a little ditty called “America,” I hope that my kin would never fall hard for a manipulative, kick-boxing, meta-bitch like Judith (played to stereotype by Amanda Peet, from the WB’s Jack & Jill). But I wouldn’t mind hanging out every so often with Wayne (Steve Zahn) and J.D. (Jack Black), Darren’s endearing best friends and musicians in his Neil Diamond cover band, Diamonds in the Rough. After Darren announces his intentions to marry Judith, and she forces him to burn classics such as You Don’t Bring Me Flowers and September Morn, Wayne and J.D. scheme to save Silverman. The plan? Kidnap Judith, fake her death, and then turn on Darren’s heartlight for an old high school flame. There are many more schmaltzy Diamond references where that one came from—some uttered by the King of Long Island himself, who makes a few-minutes-more-than-a-cameo appearance in the film—so consider yourself forewarned. And if you’re easily turned off by There’s Something About Mary-style anatomical humor, crass physical comedy, and teenage-boy paranoia about being gay, then stay away. But those who don’t flinch at the mention of butt-enlargement surgery or Touching You Touching Me—people like us Silvermans—will be quite entertained by Zahn and Black’s stupid antics. —Elissa Silverman