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What the hell is that noise? Is that singing? It sounds like a bird whistle! How does he do that? Wait, haven’t I seen this band before? Last time, they were called the Panoply Academy Glee Club. Or was it the Corps of Engineers? I can’t remember. What’s that flier say, fanboy? Panoply Academy Legionnaires? Do these people break up and start a new band every other week? And why are they so thin? They look like crazy hipster nomads! This isn’t rock music! It’s…it’s…I don’t know what the hell it is, but it’s melting my brain. That shrill voice. Those sporadic guitars. The constantly changing time signatures. Why can’t I turn away? I’m being hypnotized. Stop it. No, don’t. Oh, Panoply Academy Corps of Legionnaires, I’ve fallen into your trap. I am your slave. Please, don’t ever stop playing. You will go see the Panoply Academy Legionnaires when they play with Cerberus Shoal at 9 p.m. at the Galaxy Hut, 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. Free. (703) 525-8646. (Matthew Borlik)