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Science has discovered the key to immortality, and it lies within the Methuselah Tree*! Huh? The what tree? Not being the most religious person in the world, I had to ask around the office to see what Methuselah’s deal was. Apparently, he’s some geezer in the Bible. And this famous bristlecone pine tree, nestled snugly in the White Mountains of California, is pretty old, too—4,642 years, to be exact. So it’s called the Methuselah Tree—get it? If you’re still scratching your head, as I am—then The Curse of the Methuselah Tree is for you. Full of action-packed tree footage, this 50-minute documentary is sure to answer all your pine-related questions, such as “How has it survived?” and “When the hell does this aforementioned curse set in?” This tree isn’t getting any younger, so hurry up and pay your respects to the oldest living organism on the planet at noon at the National Museum of Natural History’s Baird Auditorium, 10th & Constitution Avenue NW. Free.

(202) 357-2700. (*not really) (Matthew Borlik)