Although it’s not expressly forbidden in the bylaws, I’m sure my condo association would frown on my taking up apiculture—or beekeeping. But I’m doing my best to at least structure my life according to honeybee society: The queen retires permanently to the hive, surrounded by thousands of workers, who fetch food and do the chores, and a few hundred drones, for breeding. I’ll keep you posted. Meanwhile, my insect role models are in high demand. Farmers have to rent hives from beekeepers to cross-pollinate their fields, as Peter Fonda did in Ulee’s Gold. And although I’m not sure if there’s a place for Peter in my hive, he’s welcome to fill out an application. Professional beekeeper Dane Hannum will tell you all you need to know about starting a (real) bee colony—and even offer a dessert made with honey—at 1 p.m. at Lawrence Park, 5040 Walney Road, Chantilly. Free. For reservations call (703) 631-0013. (Janet Hopf)