8

SUNDAY

This is not your day, pal. Your girlfriend’s talking palimony. Your bookie’s talking kneecaps. And you’re about to lose a case of Bud to a golfing buddy who has no manly problem teeing off with a wimpy 3-iron. But you, Señor Small Penis, you’re in the middle of the friggin’ forest because you couldn’t resist the macho urge to Killer Whale a drive on the alley-tight 18th. (A 300-yard slice is still 300 yards, you silently brag.) You somehow hack your way out and fairway yourself 100 yards from the flag. Your buddy can’t putt for shit, so you still have a shot at the suds. And that’s when you solemnly turn to your soul mate: Mr. Chippy. Although most of your golf skills suck, your short game is a thing of beauty. And on this sparkling April afternoon, despite all those nasty problems lurking in the clubhouse, Mr. Chippy provides that rare commodity: hope. So swing the wedge softly, pal, and hell…this may just be your day after all. Show Mr. Chippy how much you care at the Chipping Workshop at 5 p.m. at Oak Marr RECenter & Golf Complex, 3200 Jermantown Road, Oakton. $10. (703) 255-5396. (Sean Daly)