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Darn the luck: Austin music mainstay Bob Schneider has been sober for several years—which explains the smooth rock, mellow R&B, and clever funk of his superb latest album, Lonelyland. So it’s not likely that he’ll perform songs at the Birchmere tonight from his crotch-grabbing period as the frontman for Joe Rockhead, the Scabs, and the Ugly Americans. Immortal tunes such as “Pussy Fever,” “Big Butts & Blow Jobs,” and one of the best all-time song titles—get ready, here it comes—”I Fucked Your Daughter in the Ass, Boy” probably won’t ever see the dark of club again. Oh well. You might not have heard of Schneider yet—you’d certainly remember if you had—but he took home nine Austin Music Awards in 2000 and then broke the record by taking home 10 trophies this year. He also dates Texas neophyte Sandra Bullock—that’s her mom singing operatic backing vocals on the calypso-flavored “Round & Round.” Schneider’s previous bands regularly sold out weeknights, sometimes twice a week, in Austin for years. He’s got chops, he’s got attitude, and now he’s got the mighty Universal Records of Manhattan pushing him into the pop-music mainstream. And frankly, the mainstream could use a talent like Schneider, who, thank goodness, can’t settle on one genre of music and manages to perform everything from roots to folk to white rap to lounge jazz—with aplomb. Anyone who shouts out a request for “I Fucked Your Daughter in the Ass, Boy” gets a prize when Schneider plays with Steve Poltz at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, June 26, at the Birchmere, 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. $15. (703) 549-7500. (Buzz McClain)