TUESDAY

“Meet the Feebles, meet the Feebles, they’re not your average, ordinary people.” So begins Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson’s second cinematic effort, 1989’s Meet the Feebles. And with that understatement, we are thrust into the depraved world of mangy Muppet knockoffs, the stars of the Feebles Variety Hour. The heroin-addicted, knife-throwing frog has mistakenly killed his partner, and there are sure to be more fatalities if he can’t score before showtime. The show’s promiscuous rabbit host, Harry, has contracted “the big one” and been given 12 hours to live. The contortionist has somehow managed to lodge his head firmly up his rectum, and the show’s chanteuse, “that gorgeous hunk of hippo” Heidi (pictured), is facing her love problems head-on by cleaning out the neighborhood bakery. As things fall apart, more subplots materialize: drug deals gone bad, niche-market porn productions in the basement (uh, anteater…snout…cow…butt), and a bizarre paternity suit involving the unfortunate spawn of an elephant and a chicken. Jackson’s film is rooted in a perversion of the widely accepted notion that fuzzy, talking animals equal wholesome family entertainment, and that should make for something hilarious. Yet although it hints at humor, it never really makes it past that uncomfortably awkward stage. Experience members of the animal kingdom as you never have before at 8 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 11, at the Lucky Bar, 1221 Connecticut Ave. NW. $2 (suggested donation). (202) 736-1732. (Chad Molter)