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Welcome to the first game of the Washington Jagrs, team of the world’s best hockey player: Jaromir. (Like that other D.C.-area import, he needs only one name.) Here’s a 2001 Washington Capitals scouting report for homers: Adam Oates—we love you, old man, but quit whining and play. Peter Bondra is going to top last season’s 45-goal, 36-assist total because teams can’t focus on him as the Caps’ lone offensive threat. Dainius Zubrus is going to finish the season with more than 50 points because he’s skating with King Jags. And new bruiser Stephen Peat will kick so much ass Don King is gonna come calling. Game on! Watch as the Caps exorcise the New Jersey Devils at 7 p.m. at the MCI Center, 601 F St. NW. $10-$196. (202) 432-7328. (Christopher Porter)