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THURSDAY

Think it’s way cool to be a spy? Sure, you might get to be all sneaky, dress in black, and maybe suffer some crazy torturous death at the hands of some super-secret colonel. And that’s great. But more than likely you’ll spend most of your time drowning in paperwork and dealing with a not-so-secret (not to mention not-so-nimble) bureaucracy. But it’s not all bad: After all, you do get to play in the darkened streets of some unheard-of (cause the vets get the good assignments) ‘Stan. It’s just that you’ll be spending most of your time kicking a soccer ball. Don’t take my word for it—go listen to Dan Miller, former “competitor intelligence operative.” Tonight, he’ll be leading Spying 101, which promises to teach you more about the equipment, speak, and training of operatives. It begins at 6 p.m. at First Class Inc., 1726 20th St. NW. $30. For reservations call (202) 797-5102. (Mike Kanin)