The Washington Wizards have undergone more face-lifts than Michael Jackson. In 1997, the franchise changed names and moved to a new arena. Last summer, the Wizards landed the first pick in the NBA draft. This season they got Michael Jordan. So far, the pretty new face of professional basketball in the District has been wooing big crowds to the MCI Center and scoring airtime on network television. But despite the make-over, some of us recognize the Wizards for who they really are—the Bullets. (The only real wizards in D.C. are the PR flacks who pulled off the team’s reconstructive surgery.) Beneath the Wizards’ sexy makeup beats that same lackluster heart that for decades has failed to inspire any romance with local sports fans. My advice? Get a date with the Wizards quick, before somebody pulls their wig off. The Washington Wizards play the Boston Celtics at 7 p.m. at the MCI Center, 601 F St. NW. $35-$85. (202) 432-7328. (Felix Gillette)