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TO JAN. 20

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Scene: Victoria’s Secret. Cast: me and a jazz singer. Object of ridicule: silver satin baby doll with dove-gray marabou trim. Me: “Ha, ha! Look at that trashy nightie. You should wear that onstage!” Claire: “Ha, ha! As if!” Me: “Ha…um, does it come in medium?” You see, some things appear absurd at first glance, before you realize that you need this. Take, for example, the words “Scooby-Doo in Stagefright,” now emblazoned on the marquee at the Warner Theatre. Why should you not say, “Ha, ha! What an inherently foolish idea”? Because, gang, Mark McKinney of Kids in the Hall and Saturday Night Live is a script consultant, and the guy is funn-ee. Because it takes place on the horror-movie set of Daphne’s “hip uncle.” Because Daphne is hot, Velma is cool, Fred is probably gay, and Shaggy’s a stoner. Because a life-size dog costume is involved. Because Pierre-Marc Diennet, who plays Scooby his bad self, is a D.C. native. Because you can’t wait for the live-action film. Did I mention the dog costume? You need this. One size fits all. “Ruh-roh,” “zoinks,” and other catchphrases will fly at 8 p.m. Friday at 8 p.m., Saturday, at 1, 4, and 8 p.m., and Sunday at 1, 4, and 7 p.m. to Sunday, Jan. 20, at the Warner Theatre, 513 13th St. NW. $15-$35. (202) 432-7328. (Arion Berger)