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Goblins, trolls, wizards, and dwarfs run wild in McLean! No, it’s not a meeting of the Virginia legislature; it’s a—and here we quote the press release—”lively” stage production of The Hobbit tonight at Alden Theatre in McLean’s community center. For those of you who don’t spend every weeknight screaming “Carmen Appice, you moron!” at the contestants on Beat the Geeks, The Hobbit is not a volume of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Thirteen years before LOTR did it pretty, J.R.R. Tolkien kicked off the whole Magic-playing, parents’-basement-living, sexy-fairy-doodling subculture with the 1936 novel, which unleashed Bilbo, Gandalf, and assorted Middle-earthians on an unsuspecting populace that found swordplay preferable to gunplay. Patricia Gray adapted the text, Dana McLeod is directing, and plucky elementary- and middle-school students will enact Bilbo’s magical-obstacle-strewn journey from content Shire bonhomme to hairy-footed hero. Shave your feet and be there at 7:30 p.m. at McLean Community Center’s Alden Theatre, 1234 Ingleside Ave., McLean. $6.50. (703) 790-9223. (Arion Berger)