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In: Palisades
Residents are opposing: The D.C. Department of Public Works
Because: Granite curbs are threatening neighborhood oak trees.
We Say: Tree-hugging is hard enough without scuffing your shoes.
In: Foggy Bottom
Residents are opposing: A new building for George Washington University’s international relations program
Because: It would bring more students into the neighborhood.
We Say: A great iron curtain has descended on Foggy Bottom.
In: Spring Valley and AU Park
Residents are opposing: The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers
Because: The corps lacks the money to remove arsenic from neighborhood yards.
We Say: The corps lacks the will to bulldoze the neighborhood into a wetlands sanctuary.
In: Glover Park
Residents are opposing: Outsiders
Because: They take up parking spaces.
We Say: Glover Don’t Park.
In: Mount Pleasant
Residents are opposing: Shelters for at-risk youth
Because: The neighborhood, they say, is already saturated with youth shelters.
We Say: Umm, those are hipsters in group houses. —Dave Nuttycombe