There’s nothing quite as heartwarming as when a husband and wife, mother and child, or brother and sister lovingly fuck each other over for a dollar. Especially when it’s a fake dollar. If the bonds of blood can be thoughtlessly cast aside in the name of self-interest, a new stride in home entertainment has been made. Monopoly made me a heartless tyrant, whose cruel arm of power swept from the whorehouses of Baltic Avenue to the bright lights of the Boardwalk in the relentless pursuit of increased revenue and property. And in Sorry!, I was anything but: It’s the gratification of success—not remorse—that I feel when I knock your helpless pawn out of my way. Perhaps it’s through such early lessons in self-preservation and greed that I learned to love the lie of today’s capitalistic culture. And what better way to encourage such behavior than the Family Game Night Tournament, where families of four compete for the grand prize of a Walt Disney World vacation. Subject your nuclear unit to further commercialization from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at ESPN Zone, 5512 12th St. NW. Free. (202) 783-3776. (Matthew Borlik)

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