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14

THURSDAY

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Hold on, Bill Buckner, I’m comin’ for ya! In Paul Davies’ How to Build a Time Machine, the theoretical physicist gives cheeky instructions for turning a “traversable wormhole” into a funky vehicle perfect for peeling through the years. You’re gonna need a collider, an imploder, a differentiator—you know, your basic road-trip stuff. And before performing the requisite superhero rescue crap, I’ll take my first trip somewhen to autumn 1986. I’ll park my spacetime scooter in the parking lot of Shea Stadium and scalp a ticket for Game 6 of the World Series between the Red Sox and the Mets. Before zooming off to persuade Dylan out of his Jesus phase, I’ll make damn sure that Beantown’s first baseman—about to make the worst fielding error in sports history—hears my adamant plea: “Bend lower, Bill! Seriously—stop, drop, and roll if you have to!” If Buckner listens to me, the world—and my childhood—will instantly become a far better place. Davies appears (as if out of nowhere) at 6 p.m. at the Ripley Center, 1100 Jefferson Drive SW. $13. (202) 357-3030. (Sean Daly)