In: Mount Vernon Square

Residents are opposing: Fun Fair Video

Because: The store features “Buddy Booths,” where patrons screen pornography.

We Say: Single booths were good enough for Dad.

In: Downtown

Residents are opposing: A new baseball stadium

Because: They want neighbors, not attractions.

We Say: C’mon, dude: Free Seat Cushion Day!

In: Foxhall Village

Residents are opposing: Rock Creek International School

Because: The school wants to add sixth-graders.

We Say: Sixth-graders should study abroad.

In: Georgetown

Residents are opposing: Local utilities and the D.C. government

Because: Work on Wisconsin Avenue may reroute traffic down 34th Street.

We Say: That’s OK. Nobody goes to Georgetown anymore.

In: River Terrace

Residents are opposing: The Benning Road trash station

Because: The facility spreads asthma and other ailments, according to neighbors.

We Say: See Page 52, Paragraph (c), The Plan.