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In: Mount Vernon Square
Residents are opposing: Fun Fair Video
Because: The store features “Buddy Booths,” where patrons screen pornography.
We Say: Single booths were good enough for Dad.
Residents are opposing: A new baseball stadium
Because: They want neighbors, not attractions.
We Say: C’mon, dude: Free Seat Cushion Day!
In: Foxhall Village
Residents are opposing: Rock Creek International School
Because: The school wants to add sixth-graders.
We Say: Sixth-graders should study abroad.
Residents are opposing: Local utilities and the D.C. government
Because: Work on Wisconsin Avenue may reroute traffic down 34th Street.
We Say: That’s OK. Nobody goes to Georgetown anymore.
In: River Terrace
Residents are opposing: The Benning Road trash station
Because: The facility spreads asthma and other ailments, according to neighbors.
We Say: See Page 52, Paragraph (c), The Plan.