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Maybe we should start calling Loose Lips “Loose Dentures.” I’m referring to the way she hashes half-digested facts, her gut feelings spilling over while she researches the refrigerator instead of the assignment, drooling opinions tainted with sophomoric biases. Sound bites slur into pulp fiction.

There was a time when Loose Lips could make readers salivate to her delicious tongue lashings. But that was before all the makeovers. First, she was a man. Then she changed sex and became Jonetta. Now she’s Elissa—or is it Sybil? Sad to say, that gadfly is losing her grasp on the walls of Washington.

Why doesn’t the Washington City Paper replace LL with a fortune teller? If I’m going to be fed baloney, at least surprise me with a mysterious new flavor!

Barney Circle