You split your dress pants playing boccie at cousin Cheryl’s engagement party. You’ve grown too Rubenesque for the dress from Uncle Ruben’s funeral. You’re morally opposed to pantyhose. Your tie is holding the mailbox to the screen door so the mail won’t fall out, and the screen door to the back door so the squirrels won’t get in. Your girlfriend cuts your hair with nail scissors. Fear not—you can still partake of culture, even if you haven’t been to the Kennedy Center since that field trip where you sat Indian-style to watch puppets singing Aida. So put on what’s clean, head to Clarendon, have an ale or three, and give yourself over to one of the finest young classical musicians in the country. Matt Haimovitz played the first three of Bach’s solo cello suites at IOTA last year, and he’s coming back to finish off the set. The experience is intimate, enthralling, and very down-to-earth. Socks are optional when Haimovitz plays at 3 p.m. at IOTA, 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. $10. (703) 522-8340. (Pamela Murray Winters)