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In: Adams Morgan
Residents are opposing: The sale of illegal documents on the 1700 block of Columbia Road
Because: The contraband threatens national security.
We Say: “Look at meI’m the King of Sweden!”
In: Woodley Park
Residents are opposing: Single-pane windows
Because: They’re inappropriate for historic properties.
We Say: So are heaters, air conditioning, electricity,
running water…
In: Takoma Park
Residents are opposing: The city’s plan to put up to 95 town houses at the Takoma Metro station
Because: The plan provides inadequate green space.
We Say: “Whoa, my pot plants need more room!”
In: Cleveland Park
Residents are opposing: New streetlights
Because: They’re too bright.
We Say: Please find something funnier to complain about.
In: Columbia Heights
Residents are opposing: Kids
Because: They hurl bricks—and epithets—at neighbors.
We Say: Johnny can’t read, but he has a great arm. — Dave Nuttycombe