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In: Adams Morgan

Residents are opposing: Ambulances

Because: They’re loud.

We Say: Next time you’re hurt, call a mime.

In: Takoma Park

Residents are opposing: Music in Whittier Park

Because: Neighbors don’t want to be force-fed rock ‘n’ roll.

We Say: No way—my band totally rocks!

In: Fort Stevens

Residents are opposing: Marylanders

Because: They hog public playing fields.

We Say: It’s called smart growth.

In: Adams Morgan

Residents are opposing: Trees

Because: They obscure stop signs.

We Say: I think that I shall never see a tree as lovely as a bright-red octagonal piece of metal on a stick.

In: Kingman Park

Residents are opposing: Grand Prix racing just 50 yards from residences

Because: Race cars spew noise and pollution.

We Say: Yeah, but they also crash!

—Dave Nuttycombe