Behold little Grayer of The Nanny Diaries: Decked out in a Teletubby costume with his similarly dressed nanny and uninvolved mom in tow (“small yellow Laa-Laa, large purple asshole, and Mrs. X in a dignified Jil Sander pantsuit”), the precious 4-year-old realizes something’s amiss during the limousine ride to the big Halloween party: “My card. Where is it? Wheeeerrrre!” But just when you’re thinking this kid needs a hearty slap—after all, merely weeks before he assaulted his new keeper with a thrown stroller and an “I told you to get out of here, you bad woman!”—Mom chimes in with “Nanny!…Grayer, tell Nanny what you’re feeling.” Now who needs the smack? Do some backseat parenting along with authors and former queens of childcare Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus as they sign copies of The Nanny Diaries at 7 p.m. at the Corcoran Gallery of Art’s Hammer Auditorium, 500 17th St. NW. $14. (202) 639-1770. (Tricia Olszewski)