Wait…I’m having a vision: I see you sitting on the couch. It’s the weekend, and you’re watching TV, feeling depressed. Your mind is rebelling against Sunday lethargy and Monday-morning alarm clocks, against preseason football and the decline of The Simpsons, against “malternative” commercials, and, most of all, against your humdrum life in D.C. Then you, too, have a vision. You plug into the city’s collective unconscious. In a flash, you remember that you—and those of your ilk—don’t need the cathode-ray tube and the remote control to flip through images of far-flung places. You’re telekinetic. Telepathic. Otherworldly. And—irony of all ironies—you almost blanked on today’s Psychic Fair. But then, in the nick of time, your sixth sense kicked in. It always does. The Pfair is open from noon to 6 p.m. at the Fairfield Inn, 4050 Powder Mill Road, Beltsville. $5 (suggested donation). (410) 340-4874. (Felix Gillette)