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MONDAY

More than any other science-fiction monster or mutation, giant bugs scare the shit out of me. That’s not to say I’m one of those people who jump up and run at the sight of any and all ants, bees, or spiders. But if you think, really think, about those pests’ relative strength, speed, and hunting ability, you have to admit bigger ones would be a force to be reckoned with—even if they were, say, only 2 feet tall. At 8 feet and up, human survival starts to look pretty grim. Take, for example, Them!: Gigantic ants mutated by nuclear radiation converge on Los Angeles in an attempt to wipe part of the West Coast clean of us little humans once and for all. Scary stuff. Bring the celery and peanut butter, ’cause they got the ants at 8:30 p.m. at American City Diner, 5532 Connecticut Ave. NW. Free. (202) 244-1949. (Jacob Long)