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In: Cleveland Park

Residents Are Opposing: Unscrupulous dog-walkers

Because: They scoop poop into other people’s trash cans.

We Say: Is your stoop a better spot?

In: Adams Morgan

Residents Are Opposing: Homeless people and bar-crawl drunks

Because: They pee in alleys.

We Say: Is your stoop a better spot?

In: Thomas Circle

Residents Are Opposing: Tarry sidewalk spots thought to be gum

Because: “We look like a Third World [country] out there.”*

We Say: First in war, first in peace, first in squashed gum.

In: Dupont Circle

Residents Are Opposing: Newspaper vending boxes

Because: They clutter sidewalks.

We Say: Eliminate boxes for Washington Post, Washington Times, Washington Blade, Common Denominator, Bar Stool.

In: Cleveland Park

Residents Are Opposing: Rachel Carson-esque silence

Because: It means crows are dying.

We Say: Yes, of boredom.

*As stated at a community meeting

—Dave Nuttycombe