Did you know that Tony Orlando was a big ol’ cokehead? OK, maybe you did. But did you know that he fell off the wagon with a big snurff of the white stuff at the hospital where his best pal, Freddie Prinze, was dying? Did you know that, while married, he had an affair with Telma Hopkins, half of Dawn? Maybe. What about the fact that he could also be found in the Beverly Hills Hotel with five, six, seven, eight girls at a time? Did you know that he was a teen idol? That fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? That happiness can be found inside you? That he’s a survivor? Did you know that even with a co-writer, his writing skills are at a fifth-grade level? To that point: Did you know, ladies and gentlemen, that Branson, Mo.’s, Tony Orlando has written an autobiography, and that you have to run out and buy it right now? Well, I’m telling you. And he’ll be here at 7 p.m. at Olsson’s Books & Records, 2111 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. Free. (703) 525-4227. (Arion Berger)