City Paper is not for tourists
In: Spring Valley
Residents Are Opposing: American University expansionism
Because: It’s taking over the neighborhood.
We Say: Forty-Fourth Street or fight!
In: Capitol Hill
Residents Are Opposing: Underground museums
Because: “The memorials, which speak to us through their form, will be diminished.”*
We Say: The sewer lines, which speak to us through their function, can stay where they are.
In: Forest Hills
Residents Are Opposing: Gated communities
Because: They are unfriendly.
We Say: That’s the point. Now go away.
In: Dupont Circle
Residents Are Opposing: A clothing recycling box
Because: It causes too much noise and foot traffic.
We Say: Drop off gypsy blouses Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; drop off pleated chinos Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
Residents Are Opposing: St. Patrick’s Middle School’s proposed move into a residential neighborhood
Because: It could lower the value of surrounding homes.
We Say: More Episcopalians? There goes the neighborhood. —Dave Nuttycombe