In: Spring Valley

Residents Are Opposing: American University expansionism

Because: It’s taking over the neighborhood.

We Say: Forty-Fourth Street or fight!

In: Capitol Hill

Residents Are Opposing: Underground museums

Because: “The memorials, which speak to us through their form, will be diminished.”*

We Say: The sewer lines, which speak to us through their function, can stay where they are.

In: Forest Hills

Residents Are Opposing: Gated communities

Because: They are unfriendly.

We Say: That’s the point. Now go away.

In: Dupont Circle

Residents Are Opposing: A clothing recycling box

Because: It causes too much noise and foot traffic.

We Say: Drop off gypsy blouses Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; drop off pleated chinos Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

In: Palisades

Residents Are Opposing: St. Patrick’s Middle School’s proposed move into a residential neighborhood

Because: It could lower the value of surrounding homes.

We Say: More Episcopalians? There goes the neighborhood. —Dave Nuttycombe