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In: Dupont Circle

Residents are opposing: Bus shelters at 22nd and P Streets NW

Because: Noisy people sit on the bench after hitting the bars.

We say: Would you prefer them behind the wheel?

In: Palisades

Residents are opposing: Boathouses

Because: They’re too expensive and sacrifice public waterfront access.

We say: Where else will we hold our Viking funerals?

In: Spring Valley

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Residents are opposing: “Tall houses

Because: [T]he homes [tower] over their neighbors, blocking sun and air.”*

We say: Add 2-3 Stories to Your House Guaranteed!

In: Takoma Park

Residents are opposing: Juniper bushes

Because: They already have enough plantings.

We say: You can’t make bathtub gin with azaleas.

In: Logan Circle

Residents are opposing: The pay phone at 1319 14th St. NW.

Because: It’s used for drug transactions.

We say: With wireless, you can roll over last month’s unused drug deals to this month.

* As told to the Dupont Current—Dave Nuttycombe